I’ve always been an introvert, more comfortable with my books and behind a computer than I am making small talk. Growing up, I remember walking to middle school with one of the more popular girls. She chatted a mile a minute, and I’d try to come up with something to say, practice it in my head… but by the time I had what I wanted to say just right, the moment would, of course, be gone.
Affiliate links included.
I’ve come a whole long way since those middle school days. I’m still an introvert, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a whole lot more comfortable with who I am: my awkward, weird self. In turn, my self confidence has blossomed. Even so, self esteem and confidence are something that I still need to regularly and consistently work on. The following five things have helped me tremendously. I hope they help you, too.
Stop the Negative Cycle of Thoughts
I’ve heard that about 80% of our thoughts on any given day are negative.
“I’m no good at this.”
“I can’t do it.”
“I’m ugly.”
“I’m a terrible mom,” and the list goes on and on. And those thoughts? They tend to repeat, day after day, night after night. Our thoughts are habits.
Try to become more conscious of those thoughts and when you have them? Practice changing them around. Write them down in a journal and then reverse them. Instead of saying, “I can’t meet my goals,” say, “I am doing the best I can, and I refuse to give up.” Which sounds more empowering and encouraging to you?
Practice Affirmations
Along the same lines, get in the routine of saying affirmations. I do these with my kids on a regular basis too, because the words we tell ourselves matter SO much! Repeat after me, “I am confident. I am strong. I am a good person. I am worthy.”
One of my favorite affirmations? Especially since I’ve struggled to be a people pleaser pretty much my whole life? “I am independent of what people think of me” and “I will not ignore my intuition and feelings to make others more comfortable.”
Take Care of Yourself
When we don’t feel confident, we tend not to like as much about ourselves, and as a result we tend not to take care of ourselves either. There’s a reason that the flight attendants tell us to help ourselves first and then our kids in an emergency. You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself. And it’s super hard to be confident when we’re not taking care of ourselves – it’s all connected!
Find ways to practice self care and work it into your daily life, whether it be exercise or yoga when you wake up, enjoying a bubble bath at the end of the night, or taking a few minutes for yourself to do your makeup. Treat yourself like you love yourself, and it will help your confidence too. (Like to color? Download my affirmation coloring page here).
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
This is probably the one I struggle with the most. But when we stay in our own little bubble, it’s really hard to grow. Because if we’re stuck in the bubble, where are we going to go? Burst your bubble and step out of your comfort zone.
Try something new or talk to someone new on a regular basis. I know for the gals on my makeup team, making live videos on Facebook was one of the hardest things for them to do… but when they did it? They realized that they could! That sense of accomplishment, of doing the things that scare you, can go a long way to increasing your confidence.
Read, Read, and Read Some More
Personal development is key to fostering self love, and in turn confidence. Even if you just read five minutes a day! Some of my favorite books have helped me see that I am worthy, and getting in the right mindset (and yes that very much includes self confidence) can make a world of difference.
Self-Development and Mindset Books
- You are a Badass by Jen Sincero
- #GirlBoss by Sophia Amoruso
- The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon
- Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (seriously life changing!)
- Start Where You Are (a journal – but another great practice to have to work on loving and believing in yourself).
My Goodreads is full of more self-development books I plan to read too. (Connect with me here!)
I hope these five ways to foster self confidence helps you like it helped me. What are some things you do for yourself to work on your confidence?
***
Don’t want to miss a blog post? Be sure to subscribe to Oops & Daisies here!
