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Stop the Mean Girl Voice in Our Heads: How to Do Affirmations

February 11, 2026 by Liz SanFilippo Hall

I may share a lot on social media, but I’ll be honest… there’s a big part of me I don’t share. But after talking to some close friends and family, I know I’m far from the only one who struggles with this. In fact, I’m pretty sure we all do on some level.

I’m talking about the “mean girl” voice in my head.

The one who comes out the most when I’m tired or stressed or anxious or overwhelmed.

Affiliate links included.

Stop the Mean Girl Voice in Our Heads: How to Do Affirmations

The Negative Cycle of the “Mean Girl” Voice

It’s the voice that tells me I’m not good enough; not smart enough; not a good mom; not pretty enough; not successful enough…
the one that tells me I’m too weird and awkward, and all the things I lack.

The thoughts can easily spiral and that negative cycle of thinking can be hard to break. I’ve even heard stats that say about 80% of thoughts on any given day are negative. As Cara Alwill Levba in Girl Code says, “Far too many women dwell in negative thought patterns and disempowering behavior.” 

While I’ve been getting better at quieting that voice, I still have days when that mean voice rears her ugly head. There are days I still tell myself things that I’d never dream of saying out loud to someone else. So why do I say them to myself?

Our minds are super powerful…but they can also be tricked. Did you know that your imagination becomes your reality? Research has shown that the brain can’t tell the difference between the two.

That’s one reason why I’m such a big fan of affirmations. Repeating affirmations on a regular basis — like while I’m brushing my teeth or vacuuming — has been proven to quiet that “mean girl” voice and to change the story I sometimes tell myself.

Examples of Affirmations

I am worthy.
I am loved.
I am a good person, a good mom, a good wife, and daughter and sister and friend.
I am creative.
I am strong.
I am worthy.

Say it with me.

Be kind to yourself.

Because, no matter what that mean girl voice inside our heads tries to say, you are incredible.

And we all have an important story to share with the world. 💜


For more affirmations, along with journal prompts, grab my digital download, a 28-Day Creative Spark Workbook for Moms.


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Affirmations

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Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Care, Self Care & Beauty Tagged With: affirmations, inspiration, life lessons, mindset, personal development, reality, self care

Comments

  1. qwenart says

    March 9, 2026 at 2:50 pm

    I really resonated with your honesty about the ‘mean girl’ voice—especially how it shows up most when we’re already overwhelmed. It’s so true that we often treat ourselves more harshly than we would a friend, and your point about the power of affirmations being a tool to rewire that cycle is a great reminder. Thanks for sharing your journey and encouraging us to be kinder to ourselves.

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authorlizsanfilippohall

Multi-genre author. 📚BECOMING CHARLOTTE CORDAY, a YA historical fantasy coming 4/27/2027 from Apprentice House Press

Creativity isn’t linear and neither is my writing Creativity isn’t linear and neither is my writing or editing process. In this week’s video about what I’m working on, I talk juggling multiple creative projects and how I currently avoid shiny object syndrome to make progress with my novels. I always love chatting process, so if you want to talk through your own writing routine, reach out! #LizsWritingJourney #AmEditing #WritingLife #ShinyObjectSyndrome
This week I’m working on edits of my New Adult con This week I’m working on edits of my New Adult contemporary. In one hour today, I almost finished editing the first chapter. The editing process takes SO MUCH patience and feels like a totally different vibe than the drafting stage.When I’m drafting, I easily fall into a flow, and I can see my progress adding up as the word count climbs. I feel energized and excited as I wonder, oooh, what does my character want to do next? When I’m editing, I slow down. I read and reread sentences out loud. I ask myself: Is this really showing the reader what they need to know right now? The energy is more subdued and thoughtful. I love both “modes,” but it definitely feels like switching gears, and I always need to remind myself that while it doesn’t look like I’m making progress (my word count is just about the same as it was this morning), I am… one chapter, one sentence, one word at a time. But it’s also a reminder: thank goodness for the outside feedback from my writing partners. Without their insights, the editing process would take me SO much longer, because they catch things I don’t, simply because I’m too close to the text. So, if you’re looking for a writing partner? Don’t forget I offer writing and editing services for authors, no matter what stage you’re at in the process!#WritingLife #EditingTips #NewAdultBooks #EmbraceTheProcess
There is so much I can say about “what I was up to There is so much I can say about “what I was up to” in September, because I worked on a LOT of creative projects, but the only thing I want to shout from the rooftop is…I TURNED IN MY FINAL DRAFT OF MY YOUNG ADULT HISTORICAL FANTASY TO MY PUBLISHER.Hitting send on a novel that felt like it’s lived inside me for the last 20 years? I was a ball of emotions. This book is nearly ready for the world. ❤️ Advance reader copies will be available in December!I know, deep down, exactly how my 10-year-old self feels about this… she’s so freaking proud. We never gave up.#WritingDreams #CreativeGoals #HistoricalFantasy #AmPublishing
A big part of my writing journey has been learning A big part of my writing journey has been learning new approaches to “creative writing time,” no matter how busy life is.In my latest installment of “What It Feels Like to Publish a Book 20 Years in the Making,” I share how I learned to write in the pockets of life (even with a full-time job AND starting a freelance career... and then I had kids). Read the full post on Substack! Link in my story/bio. #WritingTips #AmWriting #ProductivityHabits #WritingABook
I hit 50K in my messy first draft of Book 2 (the s I hit 50K in my messy first draft of Book 2 (the sequel to Becoming Charlotte Corday) today!I don’t know why this is always my milestone I celebrate (why not 40K? 30K? 20K? Every 10K?) But maybe it’s because I can see “the end” in sight now for the draft, and that feels GLORIOUS.#HistoricalFantasy #WritingProgress #MessyFirstDraft #CelebrateCreativity
I do not control my characters. They have their ow I do not control my characters. They have their own plans. I just need to show up to the page. #WritingLife #MainCharacter #AuthorsOfInsta #bookstagram
Welcome to my writing desk and what creative proje Welcome to my writing desk and what creative projects I’m working on… I even give you a sneak peek at editorial notes and what my crazy calendar looks like. #AuthorsOfInsta #WritersDesk #LizsWritingJourney #WorksInProgress
I’ve decided… I’m a creature of the night 💖 #Auth I’ve decided… I’m a creature of the night 💖#AuthorsOfInsta #NighttimeWriting #Journaling #Creativity
If it wasn’t for my time at The University of Chic If it wasn’t for my time at The University of Chicago, I’m not even sure my YA historical fantasy centered around the life of Charlotte Corday, a one-time assassin during the French Revolution, would even exist. That year was a gift…. And now I’m diving into what that really tough but fulfilling year was like. Read the full post on Substack. Link in my bio/story. #HistoricalFantasy #DeepDives #WritingCommunity #BehindTheScenes
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