Oops, Daisies, and Plot Twists: My Life as a Writer

I’ve wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest childhood memories is of me, sitting at a desk in my third-grade classroom, flipping through a hardcover encyclopedia for the letter ‘S,’ because I wanted to research the sun for a short story I was working on. I’d even asked my teacher, Mrs. Engle, to let me stay inside during recess so I could work. 

Despite the consistent urge to write and tell stories, many many years went by where I didn’t share my writing with anyone. Writing classes and workshops? They made me antsy, even as I continued to go to them. I wanted to soak up every bit of knowledge I could, despite my very real fears about being told that my writing was terrible. 

I Listened to the Naysayers For Far Too Long

The naysayers factored a lot into my ‘decision’ to not share a lot of my writing. I still remember my fourth-grade teacher scoffing when I told her I wanted to be an author when I grew up. “Okay, but what else do you want to be?” she asked me during yet another recess when I stayed indoors. 

I understand now that she was trying to be realistic—unless you’re a super popular author, you’re going to have another job—but back then, her words stung. They made me want to hide my stories and poems. 

… But I Also Had Encouragers

She wasn’t the only naysayer I encountered over the years, but thankfully, there were also people who saw this spark in me and decided to foster it, rather than try to extinguish it. Mrs. Engle was the first, especially with how she organized a regular writing group for anyone interested in writing, and she taught me what it means to offer constructive criticism. 

My senior year creative writing teacher, Mr. Littwin, was another—I’ll never forget how he stood on desks and shared his own writing, and how he described the feeling of arthritis as having knitting needles being shoved into your arms. 

Most of my college professors (although not all) also fit under the category of ‘supporters,’ too, especially Dr. Peters, my mentor, who organized an incredible trip to the Lake District as part of one of my senior-year lit classes. I could go on and on about my supporters, but I’ll save that list for the dedication in my first full-length published book. 

Overcoming Self-Doubt

Instead, what I will say is this: my writing journey has far too often been marked by self-doubt. Of not measuring up. Of not being good enough. Of worrying what others—ahem, my naysayers—might think. 

But I’m tired of deferring my dreams of publishing and sharing my writing. 

Over the last few years, far too many family members and friends have gone through a series of medical challenges. My youngest sister also lost her boyfriend to a drunk driver. 

It feels so incredibly trite to say it, but if life has taught me anything, it’s that time is short and tomorrow is never promised. As I’ve grown older, I’ve started saying to myself: if not now, then when? 

What I Wish

I wish I’d believed in myself more when I was younger. 

I wish I’d believed in myself the way I know many people in my life did. 

I wish I had tuned out the naysayers earlier (including my own internal voice). 

I wish I’d gone after my dreams and not let rejections get in my way. 

But wishing doesn’t change things.

Acting does.

Continuing to write does… and leaning into sharing my writing does, too. 

I fully own my identity as a “writer” these days, and not just because I’ve been writing (and editing) professionally for more than 20 years. 

I see all my journals, all my musings, all my short stories and poems, and heck, even all my log lines/pitches for the many books I am writing and planning to write (currently numbering at 22)… and I see how I use words to attempt to make sense of the world. To entertain. To inspire.

Even when I don’t write every day…  I am a writer, and I always will be. 

I can’t remember who said it to me, but I’ll never forget their words: “If you walked into a library, or a bookstore, and thought to yourself: I have something to add, I have a story that needs to be shared. Then, you’re a writer.” 

I often return to these words of wisdom, especially during periods of self-doubt, and my response is always the same: I do have something to add. I have stories in me—and in my notebooks and computer—that I don’t just want to tell. I need to tell them. 

I’m done ‘hiding’ in the shadows. I’m sharing my work. I’m querying. Submitting. Putting my writing—and not just my ghostwriting—out into the world. I know I’ll face rejection after rejection, but none of that will stop me. 

I own my identity as a writer now, and I’m ready to share my writing with the world. 

Want to learn more about my journey out of self-doubt and more about my writing life and process? Follow me on Instagram and the hashtag #LizsWritingJourney.

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