To my darling kids,
I’ve started this letter and re-written it more times than I can count. Probably because how I feel about ending our homeschooling journey and returning to in-person learning keeps changing.
I knew that homeschooling wasn’t going to be a long-term solution for our little family. But I also thought that we wouldn’t send you back until the pandemic was over.
Yet here we are. Cases continue to climb (again). The school year is upon us (again).
After much back and forth (again!), your dad and I decided it was time for you to return to in-person school: grade two for you, Little Miss, and the last year of preschool for you, Buster.
Our emotions leading up to the return? They’ve been high. For all of us – me included.
I try not to show it. I try not to show how anxious I’ve been. I try not to check the news reports when you’re nearby. I don’t want you to see all the fighting over… well, everything. School re-opening plans. Mask mandates. Vaccines.
No. What is important right now is how you feel. About you getting a bit of normalcy back in your lives, seeing other kids your age, and just… well, getting a chance to be a kid.
That’s one of the reasons why we started participating in a bunch of activities this summer, from swimming to tae kwon do. It’s also one of the reasons why we re-enrolled you at the local school. Because you deserve some normalcy, even if that normalcy is different than before and comes with wearing masks to school.
For the most part, the two of you have been coping with all these changes, including wearing masks, and all the uncertainty better than I expected. But I don’t want to call it resilience, because to me ‘resilience’ sounds dismissive of all the feelings and challenges you have had to face over the past year plus.
Calling you ‘resilient’ is dismissive because you are both still kids – bright, brave, sweet, strong kids — who are still learning all about big feelings and adapting when things don’t turn out the way you expect.
I don’t want to dismiss all that you’ve been feeling.
It’s okay to be disappointed. Or frustrated. Or angry. And it’s definitely okay to feel excited about returning to school.
It’s also okay to crave some of that old normalcy too. A little bit of life from “before” the pandemic. I wish I could give that normalcy to you. How many times have I told you that I wish I had a magic wand? That I could wave that wand and make the world better again?
I may not have a magic wand, but, please know, that no matter what, your dad and I are doing everything we can to keep you safe and healthy. Let us grownups handle the big stuff. That’s what we’re here for.
Yes, things are still uncertain. I can’t guarantee, for one, that school won’t return to remote learning. But, as I keep reminding myself, even in “normal” times, the world was uncertain. There is only so much you can control and only so much you can do. If I have learned anything in the past year plus it’s this: we must make the most out of the cards we’re given, and do what we can to help one another.
I hope you enjoy being back in school, even if it is different than you remember. I hope you make new friends. I hope you get to run, and play, and learn, and explore. I hope this school year is everything you want, and more.
Our homeschooling journey was fun while it lasted, even if it was unexpected. But now it’s time to go back to in-person learning. It’ll be an adjustment (again). You’ll have some big feelings (again), and that’s okay. Because, trust me when I say, I’ll have some big feelings too!
Love you, always and forever,
Mom
***
Don’t miss a blog post! Subscribe to Oops & Daisies here.
