Now that we’ve had our second kid, we’re officially a family of four (well, five counting the dog), and it feels like it’s always been this way, as if our family is complete now with little guy, or Boo Boo as I’ve taken to calling him . It feels like he’s always been a part of the family.
That said though, 2017 was a year of adjustment in so many ways, and, for me, it was a lot about learning how to be a mother to not just one, but two kids. People weren’t kidding when they said that adding a second kid to the mix isn’t doubling the work, but, at least, quadrupling it.
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Our first family photo after baby boy was born.
I’m a gal of routine. I like structure and plans. And I also like to know what to expect… and when it comes to kids? HA! Well, with one kid, we had a pretty darn good routine down, at least after awhile. So much so that I would time block her naps so I’d know how’d I spend them (and yes, sometimes I even time-blocked in a nap for myself.)
Except with two kids it felt like routine flew out the window, especially early on.
As I look back at the last year and our first year with Boo Boo, I realize just how ill-prepared I was for adding a second kid to the mix. Then again, are we ever really and truly prepared for how having kids can change our lives, whether it’s kiddo number one, or number five?
Before we had Little Miss, people were a fountain of advice and information. Everyone had an opinion about baby sleep, and feeding (nursing or formula), and everything in between. I definitely read more books in preparation for kiddo number one, from Tell Your Dog You’re Pregnant, to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (best sleep book evvvver, in my opinion!).
But advice for baby number two? That was pretty much non-existent, other than people telling me how much work it would be. I guess people just assume: hey, you’ve had one child, you know what to expect!
While that is true in some respects, at least in regards to milestones and such, there was soooo much I didn’t know or realize.
1. Your love really will grow
I was pretty anxious about how Little Miss would adjust to not being the only kid in the household, so much so that I wrote a letter to her. But just as I’d hoped, my love grew, and Little Miss, most of time, has been a trooper through all the changes and adjustments.
2. But attention is divided
There are some days where I feel like nearly every moment I’m choosing between one child’s needs over the others. This was especially tough in the earlier months, when Boo Boo relied 100% on me. But mama if you’re reading this, I promise it gets easier… most days… at least after the baby becomes mobile! Then again, you still have to keep your eye on them, which opens up a whole new world for both you and the baby.
3. Oh there will be jealousy!
There have been a few times where Little Miss pointed at my belly and declared, “Put him back in.” What a dagger to the heart! But I get it… just as life was adjusting for me, it was for her, too. She wasn’t used to having my attention divided. So some words of advice, especially in the early months: don’t tell your older kiddos that they have to wait because you’re changing the baby’s diaper, or you’re feeding the baby. Rather, say you need a few minutes. This way they don’t start blaming the baby — as much — for why they need to wait.
4. There will be oh so much sibling love, too
With Boo Boo almost a year old, I’m seeing this more and more now: Little Miss takes pride in the fact that he’s her brother. When I’ve dropped her off at preschool and the other kids cooed over him, she’d proudly declare, “He’s my baby brother!” At home, she’s started to play with him, and there’s even been the occasional crawling race. It’s moments like those where I see just how much my love wasn’t divided among them, but expanded.
5. The year will go by insanely quick
I know, I know. As mamas we’re tiiiiired of hearing how fast time goes. But seriously, hear me out on this one. This past year went by SO much faster than it did when Little Miss was a baby. I think it’s because having two kiddos keeps you on your toes even more, causing the days to fly by. It’s hard to believe my baby is almost one!
6. Don’t forget yourself
To follow up on #5, with your day time even more consumed by child care responsibilities, it becomes even easier to forget about self care and taking care of our own needs as mamas. We’re pretty good at putting ourselves on the back burners, aren’t we?
But as I need to keep reminding myself, I’m a MUCH better mama when I take a little bit of time for myself each day… and I’m talking about more than just a shower. Getting your hair done. Going out with some friends. Exercising. Putting on a bit of makeup. Drinking your tea while journaling. Giving yourself a facial. Something, anything — but take care of you, too!
Now it’s your turn. What do you wish you’d been told before having baby number two (or three, or four)? Leave a comment below!
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