The overwhelm of motherhood, and parenting, is real… and if I’m being honest, I’ve tried writing this blog post at least five times now.
I’ve been feeling the overwhelm extra hard in the last few weeks. We put an offer in on a house (and it was accepted – yay!) but that was the easy part. There was of course the inspection, and the paperwork, and the negotiations, and the back and forth… and through it all, there’s this thing called life. And sometimes it can all just be so overwhelming.
That feeling of overwhelm hit me pretty hard the other day. Little guy woke at 5:15 am (the transition to one nap is not an easy one!), little miss apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and me, groggy eyed, looked around at our mess of an apartment and thought of all the things on my to-do list and I instantly knew that there was no way I was getting much of it done.
I tried to remind myself to be thankful for what we have — and that we’re fortunate enough to be buying a house in the first place — but here’s the thing about motherhood overwhelm.
It can knock you down so flipping hard, that it can be hard to even stand up and breathe some days… and overwhelm is like unlocking the door to a swirl of negative thoughts and emotions. I wanted to crawl back into bed and pretend, if only for a few minutes, that I didn’t have all these adult responsibilities.
But if I’m being honest with myself, this is far from the only time I’ve felt overwhelmed as a mom, and I know I’m far from alone. In fact, the first time that overwhelm hit was when we brought Little Miss home from the hospital — they’re trusting us to take home this sweet, innocent little child? But how are we supposed to know what to do?
Motherhood, and parenting, changes everything. These little rascals come into our lives and upend everything. We lose sleep over them, we find that the plans we had for parenting were just that “plans.” We don’t plan to, of course, but there are moments we yell, and cry, and let’s be frank, want to rip our hair out.
The laundry piles up, the kitchen sink fills with dishes, crumbs get into the couch and all over the floor, and we’re trying to juggle work with cleaning up, and taking care of the kids… and work/life/harmony, why the heck do I think I’m someone who can blog about it?
Of course, through this swirl of overwhelm, there’s a sweet kiddo pulling on your shirt, asking, “Play with me mommy?” And through it all, we wonder what it is we could be doing better.
Because isn’t that what overwhelm is at the end of the day? Beating ourselves up for not doing enough, being enough, accomplishing enough in any given day?
But, as little kids tend to do, they remind us of what’s important in life…. That the dishes can wait, and that sometimes you just need to take a break and enjoy the moment… even if it’s only for a few minutes, and even if it’s only a walk around the block with the dog once the husband gets home, or a five-minute facial mask after the kids go to bed. Or laying down and scrolling through Facebook, or reading a book.
I know what you’re thinking… I’m overwhelmed, and you want me to take a break?
Yes, yes, I do. Okay, sure, set a timer and clean up for 15 minutes so there’s less mess to look at, and maybe even do a “brain dump” in a journal to get all those thoughts out of your head… but also be kind to yourself. Overwhelm often means we need to reassess what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. And sometimes too we just need to show ourselves a little bit of love and care. Because we deserve that too.
I know I need that reminder on occasion, so I thought you might too.
How do you deal with motherhood overwhelm?
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