Dear little miss,
Today at lunch, in between slurps of soup, you looked at me and said, “what you doing mama?”
I was looking at you, probably more intently than usual, and thinking about how much has changed in nearly the past three years (ever since you’ve been born)… and how things are about to change so much again.
Your baby brother is due any day now, and we’re all on pins and needles, waiting for the day he’s finally ready to make an appearance (I’m 39 weeks pregnant today!)
You’ve been wonderful about helping us get ready for him… you transitioned out of your crib (we told you it was ‘broken’ – and you’ve been telling us to ‘fix’ it ever since for your baby brother). When we tell you that we’re organizing for him, you help — in your own way. You talk about him to just about everyone; telling them that Yaya is going to stay with you while we “go get” your brother. And every night, right before bed, you give my enormous baby belly a kiss.
I see how excited you are, but I can’t help but feel a bit guilty. You’re our one and only right now, and that’s about to change. You still, so often, tell me, “hold you mama” and I always, always, always pick you up (especially since I know it’ll help calm you if you’re going through a tantrum).
I have a feeling I’m not going to be able to do that nearly as much anymore. My attention will be divided. I’ll be taking care of your brother, a newborn with so many needs first, and I won’t always be able to read you that book at bedtime, or sit on the ground and play “matching game” for hours.
As much as I feel you’re ready, I know it’s going to be tough for you, and that the days (and nights) won’t always be easy… and that’s why I feel a bit guilty too.
But I’m writing this to tell you that no matter what I love you oh SO much, and nothing will ever, ever change that. You may not get all my attention like you used to, and there may be a new little one to love in the house, but my love for you is forever.
Change… it can be hard. It can be stressful. And that’s even true of changes that are for the better. Because change can take time to get used to. Plus, you’re a girl who thrives on routine (much like your mama!), and I have no idea what the new routine or new normal will be. But even so, I promise you, the love in this house will not be divided; but it will expand.
My other promise to you, as time goes on, is this: you’re going to adore having a baby brother… even though you can’t “play play-doh” with him quite yet, no matter how many times you ask.
Both me and your dad had siblings growing up — many of your aunts and uncle of yours — and I promise you that you’ll love your baby brother too. You’ll have oooh so many adventures together… but first? We need to start with the baby years. I know it won’t always be easy. I know it’ll be an adjustment. But hang in there kiddo, and know that although things are changing in such a big way, that mommy and daddy love you more than you know.
Love always,
Your mama
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