Is it society? How we were collectively raised? What’s portrayed in the movies and TV?
I’m talking about the pressure we often put on ourselves to make money and find success in whatever way we can. This pressure often means we put the things that light us up or bring us joy to the wayside.
Maybe it’s the age I’m at now, or the fact that I lost a job I loved due to the devastating cuts to foreign aid, but lately I’ve been reflecting a lot on work, purpose, and success. People often tie all three of these things together, as if they’re inextricably linked. When we view them this way, when we lose one, we lose them all.
But I don’t think that’s true.
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My kids live this regularly, simply doing things because they enjoy doing them… with how my daughter takes the time to make her lanyards and bracelets, not because she wants to sell them, but because she just enjoys the process… with how my son has learned Scratch, just for the fun of it, to create a game that he and his friends can try out.
As Julia Cameron says in her book The Artist’s Way for Parents: Raising Creative Children, “As we take in their openness and sense of possibility, we may find that they remind us of our own potential.”
Additionally, and strangely enough, when we emphasize the link between work, purpose, and success, we may forget why we started a project or activity in the first place. And, importantly, we forget that we can find purpose and joy in other ways, too. That success, in other words, isn’t always about making money.
I feel like I’m being too obtuse. Let me put it this way: I’m back to working freelance, but I’m also carving out and protecting space to simply enjoy the creative process, especially with writing and art. The end goal does not have to be about making a living from our creativity… but to simply enjoy the act of creation.
Fortunately, after I unfortunately lost my full-time job this past spring, some of my past freelance clients were more than happy to take me back on. Most of them work in immigration law, and as you may guess, they’ve been busy. I am honored to help them through my ghostwriting services for various documents, and I genuinely do find purpose in this type of work.
However… I also find purpose in my creative writing. Although, if I’m being honest, it gives me purpose in a totally different way. It also hasn’t made me much in the way of money (yet), other than with the publication of Etta Betta and the Beast. But, hear me out, because, for now, that’s beside the point.
I think a younger version of me would be panicking a bit right now, given that I’m relying on project-based freelance work and hunting for the next steady gig and/or additional freelance clients. While I continue reaching out to contacts and looking for new freelance work, I’m also giving myself permission to regularly take a break from freelance to write and work on something ‘creative.’
To enjoy the act of creation.
To think about my novels and my short stories.
To carve out time to work on my creative projects.
There’s my young adult historical fantasy that I recently started to query. There are two manuscripts I’ve been alternating between (depending on my mood and where I’m at in the story—more to come on these, eventually). Sure, I hope to one day make a career out of my writing, but when I sit down to write, that is not what is front and center in my mind.
Beth Kempton in The Way of the Fearless Writer: Mindful Wisdom for a Flourishing Writing Life might have put it best, sharing: “Rather, it is about ritual, dedication, and commitment, developing an acute awareness of beauty, dancing with inspiration, listening to the world outside yourself, and going deep within.” She may have been talking about writing, but I feel that it can be applied to any creative pursuit and passion.
That’s why I’m giving myself permission to create, even without the promise of a monetary payment. Because when I write, when I get my stories down on the page, I feel like I’m a better version of myself, and, to be honest, a better mother and partner too—and there’s so much joy and purpose that comes from that too.
I plan to write more frequently on this blog, with a greater emphasis on the intersection between parenthood, writing, and joy, so please stay tuned.
How do you find purpose and joy in your everyday life? Because, especially in this day and age, every little bit helps.
If you have any questions or thoughts, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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