Habits are crazy things. Sometimes we create them without even meaning to, and then when we go attempt to change them? It can be really, really hard to get out of our old ‘auto-pilot’ setting and into a new one.
Take for example, our old dishwasher. Yes, I said dishwasher. In our apartment, the dishwasher’s top drawer only came out halfway. It was a pain in the arse, but we lived with it for five years. Fast forward to today and our new house: we have a dishwasher that has a fully operational top drawer. For WEEKS, I only pulled it out halfway. It was a self-imposed limitation I was setting for myself, because I had a habit for FIVE years of only pulling it out halfway. It’s a habit I had to break, and it was just the dishwasher.
So creating new habits that involve better eating, or working out more, or watching less TV, and the list goes on and on and on? Those can be even harder to break. (Affiliate links included).
The same goes for our kids. After I had little guy, we got into the habit of me putting a show on for Little Miss in the morning while we got ready. It was our routine. And then one day I decided enough was enough. She was having too much screen time. So we worked on making new habits to replace the old. It took her about a week to get into the new norm.
I know breaking and reforming our habits isn’t always that easy, but here are five things that have helped me and my family. (And five things that I keep trying to practice. It’s not perfect – hey, that’s life! – but it’s helped).
Pick habits you want to change
First start simple. Even if you’re looking to rehaul all sorts of bad habits, pick just one at a time. Otherwise you just might go into overwhelm mode. Plus, if you get too overwhelmed, chances are you’re going to fall back into old habits a lot easier, because it feels too hard to accomplish all that you want. Plus: energy flows on the things you focus on. And if your energy is too scattered, then it’s pretty impossible to focus. (I know for a fact that I’m a hundred times more scatterbrained when I attempt to multitask!)
Replace the habits with something new
Chances are your old habit filled the need of something else… like watching TV for little miss. It was her chance to “wake up” and ease into the day. We’ve replaced that TV with a morning hug (something I wish I’d done much earlier), books, and some quiet time playing in her room. We don’t dive into getting dressed first thing in the morning, because I know that’s too overwhelming for her. (Of course, once she’s in school that will have to change).
Commit to doing it daily
Consistency is HUGE in changing habits. They say it takes at least 3-4 weeks to get a habit in place, and along the way you’re going to be tempted to not do your new habit, whether it be working out, or eating that darn cookie mid day or after the kids go to bed. To help you commit to consistency, write down your new habit and check it off once you’ve done it for that day. You can use a simple to-do list, or my preferred method of late: a bullet journal. Either way, writing it down helps.
Remind yourself WHY you’re doing it
WHY do you want to change this habit? Chances are it has something to do with how you feel, or your quality of life. Get clear with yourself why you want to change this habit and then, again, write your ‘why’ down. But dig deep when you do. Don’t just write down: ‘I want to work out every day, or I want to make more money.’
How do you imagine forming this new habit will make you feel? Will you have more energy? How will it affect your day-to-day life and mood? Get specific, and don’t forget: if your why doesn’t make you cry, you’re not digging deep enough. And yes that sentiment is just as true about habits as it is about the career/work you pursue.
Find an Accountability Partner
Last but certainly not least, hold yourself accountable. Writing it down helps, but having someone to “answer” to helps even more so. Plan on doing check-ins with one another, even if it’s just a quick text. You can help encourage and congratulate each other, because pep talks are always a good thing.
Last but not least, don’t hold yourself to perfection when forming new habits. You’re going to hit snafus. You’re going to miss a day. You might have a slip. We’re human after all! And life is full of oops and daisies.
Don’t demand perfection from yourself, but aim for progress. Aiming for perfection makes it easy for us to find faults in ourselves and our habits, while progress looks at what we’ve accomplished so far, and how we’re doing better than we were a week or month before.
Just ask little miss: because she’s definitely had an off morning where we may have watched a Daniel Tiger, or two.
What new habits are you working on changing? Need help staying accountable? Comment below!
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